Choosing Joy

It’s 6 am, and I am wondering why I stayed up too late.. again? The children will be up in one short hour, and that seems cruel to me right now.

Start the coffee, check my phone, pull out my Bible, and try to concentrate before the pitter patter of feet interrupt me.

Fast Forward a few hours:

Trying to wrestle with a very feisty 2 year old, who is testing her boundaries in the typical toddler fashion, the boys are screaming. I haven’t decided yet if I need to intervene.. not that it would matter, I am in the middle of changing a diaper, and have run out of wipes. Where are those wipes?? I’m angry at my husband suddenly (although it was probably me that didn’t replace the wipes, it just feels better to blame someone else). The screaming escalates.. Allie is flailing.. and well, the contents of the diaper are uncontained by now.. Take a deep breath.. trying to breathe.. Boys are bounding down the stairs with tales to tell, and angry voices raging against my ears.. Allie is frustrated and impatient, and now the comforter on my bed must be cleaned as well.. Of course, the phone rings, there is no way I’m answering that.

Joy, seems to elude me, when I need it so desperately. I feel impatient, unwilling to fight, desperate, hopeless. Will I pursue Joy, or give into my emotional response of frustration, anger, and self-pity?

Joy, seems simple enough, right? Webster defines Joy as a state of happiness. Happiness defined by Websters is: a state of well-being and contentment.

So be happy. It’s that simple right?

In the Harper House we use this phrase quite often “you need to choose to have a happy heart.” What we mean by that: Don’t allow Circumstances, and people that you cannot control to manipulate, dictate or change your mood, perspective or response. You control your emotions, and choose joy.

Seems easy now, but it didn’t a few hours ago. When all the kids are screaming, when the check you wrote bounced, or the neighbor ran into your car, those are the times that choosing Joy is a struggle.

It’s easy to be happy when everything is going according to plan, but when things fall apart, that’s a true test of your resolve. Will you fight for Joy, or give into your emotions?

How do we do this? How do we, as emotional people, living in a world that glorifies feelings, live a life in pursuit of Joy?

1.) Control Yourself!

Self-Control - The ability to control oneself, in particular one's emotions and desires or the expression of them in one's behavior, especially in difficult situations.

I am not anti-emotions; God gave us emotions, he made us the way he did, on purpose. I think emotions can be wonderful, inspiring, and bring expression to those things we cant describe with mere words, but I also think it is dangerous to allow one’s self to be controlled, led or manipulated, by emotions. Emotions are fickle, ever changing and aren’t indication of truth.

Just because you feel it, doesn’t make it true. Just because I’m angry with my husband because I feel like he didn’t consider me when I was searching for the wipes, doesn’t mean that it’s true. We do ourselves a huge disservice when we accept every feeling, thought and idea that enters our brains as truth.

Philippians 4:8-“whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, lovely, are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things”

Don’t assume you know the truth because you feel it’s true, assume the best in others. If it’s not true, it’s a lie, regardless of how it makes you feel.

2.) Walk with God:

Joy is a fruit of the spirit. The Bible says in Galatians 5:16 “I say then, Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” What does that mean?

It means, allow the Spirit, to govern what you think, what you say and what you do. We are so used to allowing the flesh to have control of us, but that contradicts the word of God. Continue on in Galatians to vs. 17 “For the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary to one another”

In Vs. 19-21, Paul Goes on to tell us the works of the flesh : hatred, contentions, jealousies, outburst of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissentions, envy, etc..** This is what Emotional responses or reactions can get us!

In vs 22 we see the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

**This is a result of being self-controlled. And walking in the spirit

In Ephesians 5:19-20 the Bible tells us to be filled with the spirit! How: “Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Giving thanks always, for all things to God the father .. “

If our purpose in life is about ourselves, we will be unfulfilled, limited in life, and see the works of the flesh evident in our lives. If we choose to put our flesh under, to yield our way to God, and forgive, love, walk in peace, etc and continue to pursue Him, we will find Joy. The Bible says (Ps 16:11) In Your presence is fullness of Joy. That God is our Exceeding Joy (Psalms 43:4).

Joy is based upon God, who he is, what he is capable, his unending love, grace and mercy he extends to us on a daily basis. Without God, Joy is impossible.

The reason we can have joy in the face of adversity, is because of who our joy is in! Without God, we would join the world in an endless pursuit of happiness, doing what makes us feel good, and feeling hopeless and lost.

I encourage you, as you are facing struggles, when it seems like you are trapped, and you are tempted to give into the notion that “it’s just one of those days” to choose your response instead of reacting out of your emotions. You may be surprised to find Joy when you look for it.