In a moment

I have been asked countless times what were some of the things I took away from Youth America. I gave a cop-out, very vague answer of, It wrecked me, which while true, doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what happened in that short week. It did truly wreck me, I told the teens, ya’ll have ruined me.. Seriously, I will never be the same. I think it’s time I expound, because anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate cop-out answers.. and I feel the need to explain further.

Every day at Youth America I began with some much needed personal time with God. Just Him and I, and whatever other leader was up at 6:30 in the morning trying to steal away some time before their teens found them. During this time I felt God speaking directly to me about my fears and the inadequacies I feel I struggle with. I have never been one of those people who loves to be on stage, or in the spot light, but I also feel this strong pull that God has a specific calling and purpose in my life that will make me face and overcome these fears. Fear can be crippling and paralyzing, causing you to stop in your tracks. Thankfully I am part of a church that loves to challenge those things within my life that would leave me stagnant, and unproductive. As I’m struggling and voicing my concerns to God, He begins to stir this within me:

I am not looking for the qualified, for the skilled or eloquent. I am looking for one who is willing. Willing to do what I have called them to do, regardless of the consequences; willing to allow my voice room in their life, to proclaim my dreams and desires for others. Someone who will allow their lives to be a platform for me. Are you willing? Not are you able, or do you think you can do it. DO you trust me to be who you need me to be, in order to do what I’ve called you to do? Are you ready to stop relying on your own strength and allow me to have voice through your life?

Of course I answer with a definitive YES! In doing so, I feel as if I’m teetering on the edge.. Knowing the opportunity to jump in, is right around the corner.

The first day, I had opportunity to give up on one of my teens. I must say, I was tempted to take it, it’s easier to dismiss someone and not have to deal with the pain they may cause you, but God wouldn’t let me do it, and he reminded me so much of my brother, I couldn’t bear to give up. So I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. And others prayed and prayed and prayed, and God is Faithful to the end. Never give up, on anyone! I’ll spare you the details, but I can say this, He is a changed young man, who is beginning to recognize the call of God upon His life and is excited about it. His life was transformed, totally in less than a week. I am believing that he will maintain his freedom! Any freedom gained must be maintained. (I won’t preach on this right now, but I’d love to).

The amount of unity developed within our group, was amazing. I am awestruck by the relationships built. Every time we go to YA I am told by whoever bunks with us, how special our group is, how tight and close they seem. This year was a whole new level. I saw sister’s praying for one another, and for their family together, friendships built as they laid hands on one another and spoke life over each other. No strife or division was present, no quarreling or discord. Unity, peace and deep love for one another was evident in EVERY SINGLE ONE of them.

Don’t underestimate what God can do In a moment. I have this tendency to try and make things line up with what I believe instead of making my beliefs line up with truth (God’s Word). IT is still a struggle for me at times til this day. As I watched huge transformations, I had to fight the urge to second guess it. I choose to believe in my students and allow God to finish what he’s begun in them.

This last week:

My heart was transformed. I chose Love and acceptance, and to believe the best.

Students were completely surrendered to Jesus, and lives changed forever.

An Atheist became a Christian, An addict gave it all up to God, Several Spoke in tongues for the first time, restoration to families began, Freedom from spiritual bondage for others, an awakening in hearts for those who have gone stagnant. I could go on and on and on.

What has he done in me? He DID wreck me.. he did ruin me.. I am forever changed in one small moment.. I will never be the same.. and I will never give up on others or the call he has placed upon me..

This is just the beginning; it is in no means an end.

We are going public with this!

Choosing Joy

It’s 6 am, and I am wondering why I stayed up too late.. again? The children will be up in one short hour, and that seems cruel to me right now.

Start the coffee, check my phone, pull out my Bible, and try to concentrate before the pitter patter of feet interrupt me.

Fast Forward a few hours:

Trying to wrestle with a very feisty 2 year old, who is testing her boundaries in the typical toddler fashion, the boys are screaming. I haven’t decided yet if I need to intervene.. not that it would matter, I am in the middle of changing a diaper, and have run out of wipes. Where are those wipes?? I’m angry at my husband suddenly (although it was probably me that didn’t replace the wipes, it just feels better to blame someone else). The screaming escalates.. Allie is flailing.. and well, the contents of the diaper are uncontained by now.. Take a deep breath.. trying to breathe.. Boys are bounding down the stairs with tales to tell, and angry voices raging against my ears.. Allie is frustrated and impatient, and now the comforter on my bed must be cleaned as well.. Of course, the phone rings, there is no way I’m answering that.

Joy, seems to elude me, when I need it so desperately. I feel impatient, unwilling to fight, desperate, hopeless. Will I pursue Joy, or give into my emotional response of frustration, anger, and self-pity?

Joy, seems simple enough, right? Webster defines Joy as a state of happiness. Happiness defined by Websters is: a state of well-being and contentment.

So be happy. It’s that simple right?

In the Harper House we use this phrase quite often “you need to choose to have a happy heart.” What we mean by that: Don’t allow Circumstances, and people that you cannot control to manipulate, dictate or change your mood, perspective or response. You control your emotions, and choose joy.

Seems easy now, but it didn’t a few hours ago. When all the kids are screaming, when the check you wrote bounced, or the neighbor ran into your car, those are the times that choosing Joy is a struggle.

It’s easy to be happy when everything is going according to plan, but when things fall apart, that’s a true test of your resolve. Will you fight for Joy, or give into your emotions?

How do we do this? How do we, as emotional people, living in a world that glorifies feelings, live a life in pursuit of Joy?

1.) Control Yourself!

Self-Control - The ability to control oneself, in particular one's emotions and desires or the expression of them in one's behavior, especially in difficult situations.

I am not anti-emotions; God gave us emotions, he made us the way he did, on purpose. I think emotions can be wonderful, inspiring, and bring expression to those things we cant describe with mere words, but I also think it is dangerous to allow one’s self to be controlled, led or manipulated, by emotions. Emotions are fickle, ever changing and aren’t indication of truth.

Just because you feel it, doesn’t make it true. Just because I’m angry with my husband because I feel like he didn’t consider me when I was searching for the wipes, doesn’t mean that it’s true. We do ourselves a huge disservice when we accept every feeling, thought and idea that enters our brains as truth.

Philippians 4:8-“whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, lovely, are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things”

Don’t assume you know the truth because you feel it’s true, assume the best in others. If it’s not true, it’s a lie, regardless of how it makes you feel.

2.) Walk with God:

Joy is a fruit of the spirit. The Bible says in Galatians 5:16 “I say then, Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” What does that mean?

It means, allow the Spirit, to govern what you think, what you say and what you do. We are so used to allowing the flesh to have control of us, but that contradicts the word of God. Continue on in Galatians to vs. 17 “For the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary to one another”

In Vs. 19-21, Paul Goes on to tell us the works of the flesh : hatred, contentions, jealousies, outburst of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissentions, envy, etc..** This is what Emotional responses or reactions can get us!

In vs 22 we see the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

**This is a result of being self-controlled. And walking in the spirit

In Ephesians 5:19-20 the Bible tells us to be filled with the spirit! How: “Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Giving thanks always, for all things to God the father .. “

If our purpose in life is about ourselves, we will be unfulfilled, limited in life, and see the works of the flesh evident in our lives. If we choose to put our flesh under, to yield our way to God, and forgive, love, walk in peace, etc and continue to pursue Him, we will find Joy. The Bible says (Ps 16:11) In Your presence is fullness of Joy. That God is our Exceeding Joy (Psalms 43:4).

Joy is based upon God, who he is, what he is capable, his unending love, grace and mercy he extends to us on a daily basis. Without God, Joy is impossible.

The reason we can have joy in the face of adversity, is because of who our joy is in! Without God, we would join the world in an endless pursuit of happiness, doing what makes us feel good, and feeling hopeless and lost.

I encourage you, as you are facing struggles, when it seems like you are trapped, and you are tempted to give into the notion that “it’s just one of those days” to choose your response instead of reacting out of your emotions. You may be surprised to find Joy when you look for it.

Updates on the Harpers

Allie will be 2 in about a month. I can’t believe it, my baby is no longer a baby. Now, she’s so petite that many people assume she’s about 12 months, but once she starts gabbing away, they realize she’s older.

She is the sweetest little girl (most of the time). Allie is amazing to me, she loves to jump out at the boys and growl at them attempting to scare them, but she also loves to get her toenails painted and show them off. She knows no fear, unless of course it’s the vacuum, or another loud noise she can’t explain. She loves to show off her dance moves and be goofy, and she also tries very hard to have adult conversations, and be the center of attention. If someone laughs at a trick

she is trying, she will do it over and over again. She can be a little strong willed and stubborn at times. We will see how this unfolds. I doubt she will be as determined as her brother, but time will tell.

Speaking of Liam, He will be 5 in September. The time has really flown by it seems. He has enjoyed pre-school classes so far. He has found himself an easy mark this year. I suppose his strong reactions to others picking on him has made him a target for bullies. It is sad, but also a great learning opportunity for him. I would much rather he learn how to stand up for himself, and use his words now in a safe environment, then to shield him from it, and making him face it later when the stakes are higher. He is doing better with his responses, and of course receives lots of hugs and kisses and encouragement and prayer.

He has started to be concerned about growing up. He wonders if he will sound like Aedon soon, will he be as tall as Aedon soon? Will he have big muscles like Aedon soon? His preoccupation with his brother has made Aedon a little frustrated, but it’s cute to see. :0) Liam will be starting full-time preschool in the fall. I am excited for him, but I will miss him. We are already praying for his teacher, that she will be patient and God will use her to shape our strong-willed child the way God intends. Liam has really begun to come out of his shell. He loves to talk to anyone who will pay attention and feign interest in superheros that transform into multiple creatures..

Aedon will be 7 in August. It’s amazing to me, that I have been a mother for 7 years. I still feel like a novice at it very often. I feel like I have just learned a child, and then they change. Aedon however has been pretty steady. He is still very much our kind hearted, loving, child. He wants to cooperate, he wants to be helpful and he wants lots of hugs.

I suspect growing up has been hard on him lately. All the responsibilities of an almost 7 year old are catching up with him. In our home, you are responsible for your own things, your attitude, your emotions, etc. Something we say constantly “I won’t do for you, what you can do for yourself.” He feels like he is incapable of doing what we ask sometimes I’m sure, but he usually does it without too much complaining. :0)

He has begun reading VERY well. HE LOVES to read.. which I of course LOVE. :0) He has turned into quite the leader, learner, big brother. He loves his brother and adores his little sister. She of course, adores him too. He tries hard to shelter his siblings, to help keep them safe, and he loves to show them off to others.

We are very blessed in our family. Will Is still working hard at Frito Lay, and I’m still loving being a stay at home mom.

God has been stirring my heart for some time about some things, that I hope will translate into blogs, and of course action in my life. (Words, regardless if they are inspired or not, without action, are meaningless).

Our lives are about our father’s business, and we would have it no other way. To be consumed with HIS call in our lives, with HIS church, with His purpose for us. We are so blessed that he would choose us!

In Pursuit of Rest

As I sit here on my couch, drinking my coffee, listening to Hillsong’s new album, Aftermath, body aching.. I realize my deep need for rest. My body is swollen with pain from the damage I have recently done to it. This affliction of pain is due partially to my running 3 miles yesterday, but mostly because I rarely see the importance of stretching until the next day. Isn’t this so true of our flesh, that anything that takes effort, time, focused energy and we don’t see immediate results or value in, we dismiss. My body is angry with me this morning, but it is resilient.. it will heal. This all could have been avoided however, if I would have been willing to set aside time to stretch my muscles, to allow them to gradually cool down instead of come to a screeching halt, and continue on with my day.

I have this problem in another area in my life, and it’s called REST. Not to be confused with Sleep, but Rest. I have a difficult time allowing my body to Rest. I grew up pushing myself to it’s limit and then pushing some more, so the idea that I may want to allow my body some time to rest, seems foolish. The old antic I’ll sleep when I’m dead.. has applied to me much of my life. Over the last few years, God has shown me so much about Rest. Most importantly, God Values Rest and We should to. I’m not talking about veggin' out in front of the tv, that’s entertainment, not to be substituted for Rest.

To be Entertained is to be amused, to be occupied, or distracted even from "real life". There is nothing wrong with Entertainment, it has it’s place in our lives, but it is NOT rest.

Rest is freedom from activity (work or strain or responsibility) a pause for relaxation peace, ease or refreshment. To pause from life, and allow yourself to be without activity, responsibility or work.

What does the Bible say about Rest?

God Created the Idea of Rest when he Created the world. In case you don’t know this, God doesn’t need rest, he is omnipotent, (all powerful, unlimited power). But, he set the standard for us, he set the example. IF God chose to rest, we should to. IF he values it, we should. Later, he set rest into the Law, (Exodus 20: 8-11), and told us to remember, (or honor) the Sabbath.

Why is rest so difficult for us?

1.) Rest requires we give up control:

We all strive to have control over our lives, to fit our lives into a neat tidy box, and pack it away. When it doesn’t work out the way we plan, it can be quite upsetting, and can make us uneasy, unsettled and unsure of our futures. This is a great time to rest and give control to God.

Matthew 6:25-27 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

Worry is a form of control. We may not be able to do anything about our circumstance besides worry about it, so we choose to think about it over and over and refuse to let it go.

2.) Rest requires trust: While we rest, we must Trust God to be in control. Resting requires us to stop, to stop trying to figure it out, to stop trying to do it ourselves, to stop striving. We must completely put our trust in God, and ALLOW HIM to have control in our lives. This is easier said then done! Many of us don’t even trust our spouses to change the baby’s diaper the right way, let alone trust God with our lives, with decisions, with our futures.

1 Peter 5:7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

3.) Rest Requires that we admit we can’t do it alone. We all seem to have that 2 year old child in us that screams: "I do it myself!!!!" Whenever we feel someone may try to help us, or when we begin to feel the pressures of this world build up, she comes out screaming and ranting!

Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest

God operates in Grace, giving to us what we don’t deserve. His salvation, a free gift that we are unable to earn, his joy and strength available to us freely when we ask; wisdom, given to those willing to ask for it. All we have to do is go to God. In our American minds, if it is a free gift it is not valuable. How many people have ever tried to GIVE something away? It’s like you are all of a sudden suspect of trying to poison someone because you offered them a candy bar, bottled water, or a free car wash. Now, go ahead and charge a couple dollars, and they’ll line up to buy that snickers. Why? We don’t want anything we don’t earn. We can do it ourselves, we don’t need handouts. Your pride will stand in the way of finding rest. Every gift that God gives is good, and free. All we have to do is ask.

So, today as I sit, I admit I struggle with this concept of scheduling rest in my life.. It may seem impossible at times to find the time and place for such an elusive ideal. But Rest is important to God, and it should be important to us. I commit to find rest today, I pray you do too.

Resolute Resolutions:

How to resolve to do it and stick with it:

It’s that time of year again. Many of us have made our resolutions, whether haphazardly spoken on the 1^st of January, or a 3 page meticulous plan written and edited before the clock struck 12. Regardless of the method, many of us have resolved to change something within our lives in 2011.

There is something about a new year, a fresh start almost, that makes us believe this will be the year, that we change the bad behaviors, or habits in our lives.

Unfortunately, simply saying or writing or planning to change does not make it happen. Simply wanting to change is rarely enough, as most of us realize looking back at our resolutions from 2010.

In the Harper House, we do quarterly goals. Every 3 months, we reevaluate and reassess what’s working and what’s not, to see the changes in our lives that we desire.

Regardless of your methodology here are some tips to help you succeed:

1.) Be prepared to fail: Anytime in life, when you are trying to make your flesh do something it doesn’t want to do, something it has never done, or something taxing, expect resistance. We’ve been allowing ourselves to eat whatever we want for 28 years; expect that it may take more than a few hours to get your flesh under control. Or you have been spending your money as soon as you get paid since you’ve had a job, it may take more than a few paychecks to start new habits.

Realize, you will fail; you will make a mistake, but decide that when you do, it does not mean you give up. Failure and giving up are two different things. Just do better the next day, take it one day at a time.

2.) Expect to Succeed: Many people get an attitude of “I’ll fail anyways, so why bother?” They fail before they even begin! Don’t be pessimistic! Believe in yourself. Trust God that he will give you the strength when you are tempted to give in to old bad habits.

Make plans as if you will succeed. Save money to buy new clothes for when you loose the weight, or make plans for the money you will save this year. Whatever it is in your life that you have resolved to change, include it in your future plans. The old adage rings true, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

3.) Have a game plan: Don’t simply make your resolution and see what happens, you are doomed to failure if that is what you do. Football teams don’t show up to a game to play and have no game plan. They would surely loose. You must have a plan to get you there.

a.) Be specific: As I mentioned earlier, we have quarterly goals. Things we are working towards for each 3-month period. If my overall resolution was to loose weight, then in the next 3 months, I may try to restrict my diet consistently, and loose 15 pounds, while the next three months I may try to add exercise into my routine etc. If at the end of the 3 months, I find I didn’t do perfect with my diet; at least I was further ahead than if I had no plan at all.

Because my 3-month goal is to diet, what does that look like on a monthly, weekly even daily basis?

You need to have a realistic goal, and have a plan to follow through.

b.) Be accountable: It is so easy to give up on a resolution or goal that no one else knows about. If you truly wish to succeed, get other people involved. All the adults in my house are currently eating low-carb, it helps when I so desperately want a candy bar, that my sister or husband might see me, and know I cheated. Sometimes peer pressure is good!

c.) Be led: Don’t try to do this alone. Rely on God to help you! Examine your life, find your needs, and where you desire change, and ask God for help. Ask for wisdom on the best way to do it. Allow yourself to be led, and realize you don’t need to do it all on your own, but will be more successful with God’s help. Also, find scriptures that will help you renew your mind in that area.

Finally, Realize that some changes and habits will take time, and perseverance on your part. Don’t give in just because it gets difficult.

If you haven’t made any resolutions or goals, I encourage you to, it doesn’t have to be Jan 1^st for you to decide to change! There is no time like the present!

Here are some of our goals for the next 3 months:

Family Life:

Add exercise to our life style

*Add one family activity that would include 30 minutes of exercise each week.

Teach the Children more Scripture:

*Thursday Nights sit down with the kids and go over doctrine: ie what do we believe about faith, healing, sin etc. and scriptures to back it up.

*Teach them a new memory verse each month and discuss what it means. (We also chose the verses ahead of time, this month we are doing Mark 11:23)

These are just some of the many goals we have for the next year. We have goals in Family life, our Spiritual walk, our ministry, our finances, and in our health. In almost every area of life there are new habits we are trying to create!

Good luck to you in your resolutions! Stay resolute! Don’t give up!