Now, let me clear the air, I'm a firm believer in Spankings as a form of discipline when it is administered correctly and preferably with some sort of paddle.
What bothers me so much about this statement?
1) if you don't believe in a method of discipline, DON'T USE IT! If you don't believe spankings are a correct method to discipline your children, by all means, STOP! Either research the Bible and find proof for or against, and pray and make your mind up, or don't use it.
Our children know when we are not convinced of our right to do something. If you feel like what you are doing is wrong, they will be able to tell, it will be an ineffective tool of discipline. Also, they won't trust your authority because you are not even convinced of it.
2.) Never turn to spankings when you are frustrated. When someone says it's there last resort, it usually means that they are at the end of their rope. It means that they have given up on the other forms of discipline, and are ready for drastic extremes. Usually this kind of "discipline" is no discipline at all. A spanking, motivated by frustration, run by emotion and anger is not discipline. It is usually vengeance by the hand of the parent. The worst kind of abuse have been administered by a parent who never believed in spankings, and allowed themselves to turn to it when they were angry and could not control themselves. A Spanking should be administered with as little emotion attached to the act itself. A child has earned their spanking, by being defiant/disobedient, and will receive their discipline. Much like the cashier hands over your purchase that you have bought, a child "buys" his discipline. We are just the one to administrate it. Not to say that there are not emotions involved, because there are, but our emotions should not drive a spanking. A great chance of love and closeness WILL occur after a spanking is delivered, ESPECIALLY if it was not delivered with anger or frustration. This of course takes patience, practice and time.
3.) There should be no last resort:
Discipline works by being consistent. Even if you have to discipline your child all day long, there should not be a last resort. We CANT give up, the stake are too high. If you find yourself frustrated, irritated, angry and upset with your child, take a breath, take a break, your child doesn't have to receive his discipline the exact second the misbehavior occurs, many times stopping and thinking through discipline has a better result than just reacting to the misbehavior with whatever pops into your head.
We cannot allow ourselves to get so upset with our kids that we are tempted to give up. Some children ARE more strong-willed than others, and they take a certain kind of patience, and perseverance. I am unsure how parents of strong-willed children succeed without Jesus, as I run to him constantly when i began to feel overwhelmed by my own Strong-willed boy. There is no last resort, we MUST preserver!
Also, let me interject, I don't think Spankings are the only type of discipline, I do however believe they are most affective when your child defies you. When they look you right in the eye and say "i will not obey". That is when spankings are most affective and needful in my opinion.
I will post more on this topic later
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